Your still following…

All the fabulous lights below as the plane was landing in Las Vegas about 7:00 pm on a Friday night. Normal for me as I was living there and traveling for business. It had been a long week and I was tired. So out to dinner, (party of one) then a little Jazz music at one of my favorite haunts, nice! Then it happened, she was sitting at the end of the bar, big smile, great eyes, a flashy Las Vegas beauty! I was so shy and she so wasn’t! I think that’s how it happens? You see, I was just finalizing my divorce. So, I was sure ready..Right! It had to written all over me? “Available!” That night was the beginning of what I warmly call “My Long Bad Date” You see, my personal self esteem, my own insecurities and all those years without faith and standards led me to what were to become the greatest life changing events I would ever experience. I married that Las Vegas beauty after a couple of very turbulent years. Oh we fought about everything, she gambled, spent and drank every dollar we had. Everything that was wrong between us became my fault. All I could see was that one beautiful beginning, and I did everything possible to hold it together. In time I grew to fear her, her outbursts of violence and her incredible cruelty to my family, friends, employers and me. My understanding and compassion for abused partners in relationships became crystal clear. It sneaks up on you and attacks the most vulnerable part of your soul. A dear friend later told me; “Craig” She’s not a bad person, but a sick person. Then one day, I just could not take it anymore and I gathered all the courage in me, my faith in God and left. All I had was a suitcase, an old Buick and a few hundred borrowed dollars. You see, I had stopped drinking a couple of years before that day, developed a faith in God and began setting standards for myself. How often have you heard “No Pain No Gain?”, so true! So, that faith and fear pushed me to go forward, just go! That was several years ago. Today I am very free from that abuse and fear. I live a wonderful life and face everyday with joy of the unknown. All I can say to those who suffer in silence the pain, fear and guilt of abuse is; You can change it! It will be, OK! .….more of my journey ahead..

You’re still reading, I’m still writing, so please keep following….

Craig

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