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U+Me+?=1? Is this some secret formula, something like H2O? Well kind of! It was sure a secret to me? When I married in the late seventies, I was so happy! My life was going to be just perfect. A wonderful woman, a daughter already in the family, my career was soaring and as they say: “my future was so bright; I had to wear shades”. It’s funny though, when your own life is not built on solid ground, when you don’t know your own standards it’s easy to begin drifting. I sure did, I was living in fear and didn’t even know it. That fear drove me to a very self-centered existence, Craig first, career 2nd, family and wife somewhere in the rear. I did whatever I wanted! When I traveled out-of-town on business, I would visit “Strip Clubs and Bars of every sort” I would be the big shot at every party, pick up bar tabs, wore plenty of gold and very expensive custom hand-made shirts! So very much about Craig! No one would really ever believe I had a wife and little girl at home? This was my behavior before my son came along. After he was born, I got even worse. So it’s known, I love my son with all my heart! It’s just at that time in my life having children and a family interfered with my busy playtime. As for my wife, she went to work, stayed quiet, didn’t speak out about her feelings. She just read paperback love stories all the time. It’s not until now at this time in my life that I get it! In a recent post I am “Housewife”; I am Man! | followcraig., I spoke of the three most important persons in every relationship. Do you know who they are? Some would say it’s both partners plus God or both plus the children. In fact when I married for the last time a little over a year ago, my pastor spoke of this. He said the three people in every relationship are the two plus God. I disagree! The most important persons are; the two plus the relationship itself. That relationship, like children are born of the two. It is so to speak their first child together, it must learn to crawl, walk, be fed, housed and loved. Both partners must pay attention to this gift. We will always have our personal lives, our desires, our own passions and that is what brings us together to create this relationship. It’s up to each partner to covet their relationship, to feed it with love, faith and attention. God is always watching over the relationship and it’s partners. These things I know!

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Craig

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I grew up to believe women were to be wives, mothers and housewives. Men were to be the kingpin of the household, the BREADWINNER! The MAN was in charge! So you can only imagine what it was like as I became a husband and father in the late ‘“seventies” My new wife already had a career and a child? She was very capable of taking care of herself and sure didn’t need a MAN to be in charge? Well, perhaps that was not true either, see she was raised that the husband was to be the head of the household as well; and only due to course results in her life, she found herself a divorced mother and having to work and support her little girl. So as it turned out my new wife needed a MAN, a husband! I needed to be a MAN and be that guy! So I took on the role, we worked hard together, raising our family and adding one more (my son) a few years later. Our first years were good, we had children and “I Never Changed Diapers!” You see times were changing, household rules were changing, the definition of family and marriage were changing. Wives worked, mothers felt that the roles, raising children and the chores of home should be shared. Great concept if only I hadn’t been thrown into expectations I was never taught to believe. So I worked and played; she worked and worked at home and raised the kids and took care of me and on and on…So about becoming “I am Housewife; I am Man”? You see relationships are work too. We spend so much time working on our own self-centered interests, all the important things in life often are not attended too. That marriage ended for me after 25 years for just those reasons. Had I paid more attention to being a partner at home, an interactive attentive father, addressed my faith and not been so set on how I believed things should be. Who knows what relationship I would have today with my children and others in my family? Over the last 10 years or so I have learned to be a partner at home, when dinner needs cooking, when trash needs to be taken out, when the house needs cleaning, when the pets need walking or the garden needs attending; I have learned to “Just do It”. The results have been astounding! My life today is peaceful in so many ways, It’s beyond description. In one of my upcoming posts I will talk about the “Three most important persons in every relationship”