FollowCraig: U+ME+?=1?

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U+Me+?=1? Is this some secret formula, something like H2O? Well kind of! It was sure a secret to me? When I married in the late seventies, I was so happy! My life was going to be just perfect. A wonderful woman, a daughter already in the family, my career was soaring and as they say: “my future was so bright; I had to wear shades”. It’s funny though, when your own life is not built on solid ground, when you don’t know your own standards it’s easy to begin drifting. I sure did, I was living in fear and didn’t even know it. That fear drove me to a very self-centered existence, Craig first, career 2nd, family and wife somewhere in the rear. I did whatever I wanted! When I traveled out-of-town on business, I would visit “Strip Clubs and Bars of every sort” I would be the big shot at every party, pick up bar tabs, wore plenty of gold and very expensive custom hand-made shirts! So very much about Craig! No one would really ever believe I had a wife and little girl at home? This was my behavior before my son came along. After he was born, I got even worse. So it’s known, I love my son with all my heart! It’s just at that time in my life having children and a family interfered with my busy playtime. As for my wife, she went to work, stayed quiet, didn’t speak out about her feelings. She just read paperback love stories all the time. It’s not until now at this time in my life that I get it! In a recent post I am “Housewife”; I am Man! | followcraig., I spoke of the three most important persons in every relationship. Do you know who they are? Some would say it’s both partners plus God or both plus the children. In fact when I married for the last time a little over a year ago, my pastor spoke of this. He said the three people in every relationship are the two plus God. I disagree! The most important persons are; the two plus the relationship itself. That relationship, like children are born of the two. It is so to speak their first child together, it must learn to crawl, walk, be fed, housed and loved. Both partners must pay attention to this gift. We will always have our personal lives, our desires, our own passions and that is what brings us together to create this relationship. It’s up to each partner to covet their relationship, to feed it with love, faith and attention. God is always watching over the relationship and it’s partners. These things I know!

You’re still reading, I’m still writing, so please keep following….

Craig

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FollowCraig: “My Life, My Wife”

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It’s 11:00 am and I’m just in time. As a Limousine driver being late is just not an option. So here I was picking up a fare to take to an airport, just a regular day. Then she came out of her house, right on time with an incredible smile. She was just so nice. As she sat in the rear I could see her in my mirror as we spoke. Some small talk at first, then we began to get to know each other some. I really liked her an even though I did not want to get involved with someone, wouldn’t be nice to meet someone like this. After getting to know each other a little I handed her my business card with my cellphone number. I suggested she ask for me the next business trip she scheduled and then said goodbye. What a doll I thought while driving away. A week later my phone rang and it was her. I was so surprised and so very happy. She sort of asked me out. Without hesitation I decided not to blow this! This woman with such a beautiful smile and eyes was going out with me. Often I’ve said in this blog I am a blessed man. We are married today and I would not trade our life together for anything in the world. no one else in the world is like my wife and I love her like nothing else in the world. I will fight for her and us no matter what!. She is my wife and my life.        I love you Baby..

I’m still writing, you’re still reading, so please keep following…..

Craig

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FollowCraig: “Bad butter; Good butter”

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My grandmother would have all her grandchildren and such sit at our own table away from the adults. Our dinner would be the same; however for our bread and toast we had to use margarine (Oleo) rather than butter. She called it bad butter. One of my aunts would share photos of friends and family with little cutouts of the people she no longer liked removed. Another grandmother would wait until everyone opened up their Christmas presents so all of us could watch her open and comment on hers. She would then tell us which item will be re-gifted to whom and why. And of course the children were to be seen but heard. I so wanted to be a grown up! They were in charge that’s for certain. As time has passed and I reflect on my own children and grandchildren, I now see so much of my character traits in them My son just the other night said “Dad, I’m so glad your writing a blog. I am finally understanding why I feel and do the things I do”. We learn our habits very young and we end up teaching our children the habits and flaws we carry. I suppose that’s true of most families. But it does make me wonder what if those photo memories were full, the Christmas gifts received and shared were of gratitude, the children could be heard and that we only had “Good Butter?”

I’m still writing, You’re still reading, so please keep following….

Craig

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FollowCraig: Thanks!

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It’s time to take a short break from writing and say thanks to all of you for following me. This is one of the most enjoyable adventures I have ever experienced. What a joy to share my thoughts, ideas and my crazy personal life journey with all of you. Your comments, encouragement and support means so much. I’ve decided just for today to list a few of my recent and most viewed posts for you to read, comment on and perhaps share. So once again, thanks for following….

Craig

My Mom

Changing Diapers

Demons are Green

What Color are Your Grandchildren?

Miracles

Junior Seau

U+Me+?=1?

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FollowCraig: “My Mom”

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She stood there, so quiet, tears running down her face holding in her anger, hurt and fear. I will never forget that picture in my mind and heart. You see, I was eighteen years old and was at that moment embroiled in a very heated fight with my stepfather. This was a rather horrific way to leave home, screaming, fighting, then climbing out of my bedroom window to escape! My mother was so broken, she really did not know what to do? There was nothing she could do. Her oldest son did not move out like so many to a new and exciting life but rather was running for his life. My mother had four boys, we are all grown today and each of us have our memories of life at home. Our mother is a wonderful and very caring women and I Love her very much. Today as I look back over all these years and reflect on all the times my Mom was so quiet, not really speaking out and seemed to just accept her place in life. Her husband didn’t respect her, her boys depended on her for everything, she worked so hard and still smiled when inside she was just beaten down. It is often said “the acorn does not fall far from the tree” and so that is with me. I’m much like my mother. Perhaps that’s why I understand her so? As you follow my journey and lessons learned, this is one of so many. We only have one mother in our lives, we don’t get a second chance nor can we choose another. They are there for us always, even when it seems they’re not. To the men who read this I say; love and respect your mothers as they suffer through a lot of pain and sacrifice for us. Today as the rerun of that day plays over in my mind, I know it was my mother who made it possible to survive and work past all the trials that were to come in my life. Yes, my mother was really the brave one! For me, everyday is Mother’s Day!

I’m still writing. you’re still reading, so please keep following…..

Craig

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FollowCraig: “Junior Seau”

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Suicide! Not all that many years ago my own family suffered the tragic loss of suicide. it’s a milestone of time one never forgets. For many years my response to others on this subject has been “the most selfish act anyone can do to others”. In our family it was the loss of my mothers husband and my stepfather. Today we hear of the tragic loss of the young man; Junior Seau. I remember watching the movie, What Dreams May Come and came to realize we can’t know the inner pain these people are suffering? I will never know really what pain my stepfather was living anymore that the Seau family can imagine what Junior was going through. My views have changed over the years about suicide. I don’t really think it’s something anyone wants to do and cause so much pain in all those around them, it’s only no other options are available and the pain is just to intense. We have no magic pill, no man made solution? I like to think that faith in a greater power would be enough and for some perhaps it is. So today rest in peace Mr. Seau, I for one hope you have found it. To the Seau family, if you believe as I do then you will know that he has just gone home to a safer place.

You’re still reading, I’m still writing, so please keep following….

Craig

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FollowCraig: I am “Housewife”; I am Man!

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I grew up to believe women were to be wives, mothers and housewives. Men were to be the kingpin of the household, the BREADWINNER! The MAN was in charge! So you can only imagine what it was like as I became a husband and father in the late ‘“seventies” My new wife already had a career and a child? She was very capable of taking care of herself and sure didn’t need a MAN to be in charge? Well, perhaps that was not true either, see she was raised that the husband was to be the head of the household as well; and only due to course results in her life, she found herself a divorced mother and having to work and support her little girl. So as it turned out my new wife needed a MAN, a husband! I needed to be a MAN and be that guy! So I took on the role, we worked hard together, raising our family and adding one more (my son) a few years later. Our first years were good, we had children and “I Never Changed Diapers!” You see times were changing, household rules were changing, the definition of family and marriage were changing. Wives worked, mothers felt that the roles, raising children and the chores of home should be shared. Great concept if only I hadn’t been thrown into expectations I was never taught to believe. So I worked and played; she worked and worked at home and raised the kids and took care of me and on and on…So about becoming “I am Housewife; I am Man”? You see relationships are work too. We spend so much time working on our own self-centered interests, all the important things in life often are not attended too. That marriage ended for me after 25 years for just those reasons. Had I paid more attention to being a partner at home, an interactive attentive father, addressed my faith and not been so set on how I believed things should be. Who knows what relationship I would have today with my children and others in my family? Over the last 10 years or so I have learned to be a partner at home, when dinner needs cooking, when trash needs to be taken out, when the house needs cleaning, when the pets need walking or the garden needs attending; I have learned to “Just do It”. The results have been astounding! My life today is peaceful in so many ways, It’s beyond description. In one of my upcoming posts I will talk about the “Three most important persons in every relationship”

So I’m still writing, you’re still reading, so just keep following….

Craig

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FollowCraig: Pots and Pans

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In today’s world we have many things we can’t live without, ie; SmartPhones, I-pads, TV, telephone’s, computers, cars and yes; Pots & Pans! I remember while getting divorced after being married for so many years. I had a phone, a car, computer even a TV. However one day while at home by myself, I realized I had no Pot’s & Pans? How could I cook and take care of myself without these basic tools? Of course the problem was easy to fix, all I needed to do was take a little action and buy Pots & Pans. Problem solved! Looking back now, that was an easy problem to solve! So why does it take so long to realize that most problems are just as easy to solve? Life’s problems are like those Pots & Pans, we need the tools to feed our minds and souls and we only need to take the steps and actions to get them. Your life, your faith, your loves are all in your hands. They are your gifts to receive and to give!

…..once again, I’m still writing and you’re still reading, so please keep following….

Craig

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FollowCraig: Sunshine!

No man is rich enough to buy back his past. ~Oscar Wilde

I just love that quote!

Sunshine! As I write this blog; the journey I’ve been on. It occurs to me that a wonderful life was just up the road. That rest stop is TODAY. As you know by now I have been here for 60 years…short for some of you and a long time for others. Today is wonderful, I am married again and for the last time to an incredible person. A women I not only love but respect and cherish so much. Each of my children are doing well, they have children, careers and busy robust lives. My mother is still around; we should all count our blessings to have our parent(s) with us and if not to be able to carry their legacy within us. No longer do I have friends that run when times are rough, but real friends who are always there no matter what! As I sit here looking out over the waters of the Carquinez Strait from my California home, I am in awe! The life I have been given was beyond imagination only a few years ago. My hope and prayers for you and your life’s journey are to be at peace with yourself and your own life of Sunshine!

More to come!… I am still writing, you’re still reading, so please keep following…

…Craig

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FollowCraig: Changing Diapers

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